I have a lot of wonderful single guy friends. Last week, we got to talking about the saying, "nice guys finish last." The first thing I think when I hear about that statement is 'bullshit.' However, when I sat down and thought about, I realized there could be some logic to that statement.
I, and probably 99.9% of other women, have fallen prey to the 'bad boy.' The 'bad boy' comes in a few different forms.
a) The stereotypical bad boy: This is the guy with the badass attitude (he may or may night drive a motorcycle). He lives by his own rules. He says what he thinks. You find his honesty refreshing not to mention his disdain for the rules of society is kind of sexy. He plays hard, so you fall harder. SBB is fun...until he ultimately disappears. SBB can't be tamed. He loves 'em and leaves 'em. You swear you won't be one of 'em, however, you always get hurt in the end.
b) The nice guy with bad boy tendencies: This guy is a sweetheart on the outside. He is charming. He is flirty. He is seemingly everything you're looking for in a guy...that is, until he doesn't call...or text. NGWBBT plays games. He can always somehow always seem to slip back into the picture. Why? Because he has never really hurt you. Therefore, you continue to crush on him. Per usual, he continuously screws you over.
So why do we as women continue to gravitate towards men who we know are going to hurt us? This is especially confusing to all those nice guys out there (and they do exist, we just seem to overlook them). They watch us get taken advantage of time and time again. They sit there and listen to us bitch and moan about the shitty guys in our lives. Yet, they never get a chance. Ok, I get it nice guys. You do get the short end of the stick.
Yet, as I type this, I know that will probably pass over a potentially nice guy for a bad boy. Part of me understands this and part of me does not. I think bad boys have this aura of mystery that nice guys don't have. Women sense that. It attracts us. Though at the end of the day, we really don't want to be with an asshole...we want to be with you nice guy!
After all that typing, I still don't have a solid conclusion on this ongoing dating dilemma. Maybe someone needs to invent a bad boy antidote. Maybe the spell breaks with age. Maybe I need a good smack to the senses. While I ponder, listen to Carrie Underwood. She gets it.
I concluded a while ago that, in my opinion, it's not nice guys who finish last...it's whining guys who finish last. i.e. if a guy whines and moans a lot about why he is single but the girls are going for the bad boys and why don't they realize that he'll treat 'em right, he'll probably be the one to get passed over -- because it's depressing!!
ReplyDeleteIf a guy is a nice guy and he just rolls with the punches, going through life doing what he does, without being a total [insert unsavory word that is actually an unpopular feminine product available in drugstores], then he has a better chance of not being passed up.