A Dating Conundrum

I am known as a fairly impatient person. And when I saw "fairly," I mean "ridiculously."

Because of my impatient nature, I have always made things happen for myself. Why? Simply because I cannot wait for someone or something else to put things into motion for me. Thus far, my "go getter" attitude has faired well for me in all aspects of my life except one...my love life.

In our society, women are told to wait and be pursued. Social norms tell us that we cannot be the "pursue-ie." Let me tell you, that is a hard pill for me to swallow. In my life, I go after everything - jobs, friends, that great deal on a pair of peep toe pumps, and...men.

My dating life bears the brunt of this frustration. Things are generally fine and dandy until I decide to make me real feelings known. Why? Because I don't like waiting! If you like me and I like you then why the hell do we have to play games? Let's move forward.

On the other hand, if I like you and you don't like me and that kiss was just the result of one too many gin martinis, just tell me, so I can move on with my life. Let's not waste each others' time. This seems logical, yes? Well, whenever I consider testing this logic, I am told to sit and wait it out because men like the thrill of the chase. I feel this is the same logic that makes men drive in circles for hours and not stop and ask for directions. And that never turns out well, now does it?

Am I going to have to sit around - stalled on the freeway of love - forever? I don't think I buy the whole "wait for your prince to come" nonsense. If I waited to take the "bull by the horns" in every other aspect of my life, I'd be shit out of luck. So I ask you, dear readers, what's a girl to do?

I Got A Bad Case Of The (Winter) Blues

I have a bad case of the winter blues (winter blahs?).

The weather outside is beyond frightful. It's dark and cold. And slipping on ice and falling repeatedly on your ass just makes a bad situation worse (and a lot more painful). All I want to do is sleep through January until April. I think my body is going into hibernation.

I can't concentrate. I'm blue (literally and figuratively...forget gloves in 10 degree weather and see what color your hands turn). I'm just not a happy camper. I especially dislike this because I am usually a pretty damn powerful ray of sunshine, which could be due to my sunny demeanor or the excessive amount of caffeine I drink in one day. In any case, it is not like me to feel out of it.

If anyone has any cures for the winter blues/blahs, please share. If I were in Philly, I would go to Max Brenner (look it up) and drown my sorrows in copious mugs of thick, rich hot cocoa and gorge myself on bon bons (seriously, they have them there).

However, I am not in Philly and a cup of Swiss Miss and a handful of Hershey Kisses just isn't cutting it for me. The moral of this story...send sunny weather...and Godiva...lots of Godiva.

Bad Boys

I have a lot of wonderful single guy friends. Last week, we got to talking about the saying, "nice guys finish last." The first thing I think when I hear about that statement is 'bullshit.' However, when I sat down and thought about, I realized there could be some logic to that statement.

I, and probably 99.9% of other women, have fallen prey to the 'bad boy.' The 'bad boy' comes in a few different forms.

a) The stereotypical bad boy: This is the guy with the badass attitude (he may or may night drive a motorcycle). He lives by his own rules. He says what he thinks. You find his honesty refreshing not to mention his disdain for the rules of society is kind of sexy. He plays hard, so you fall harder. SBB is fun...until he ultimately disappears. SBB can't be tamed. He loves 'em and leaves 'em. You swear you won't be one of 'em, however, you always get hurt in the end.

b) The nice guy with bad boy tendencies: This guy is a sweetheart on the outside. He is charming. He is flirty. He is seemingly everything you're looking for in a guy...that is, until he doesn't call...or text. NGWBBT plays games. He can always somehow always seem to slip back into the picture. Why? Because he has never really hurt you. Therefore, you continue to crush on him. Per usual, he continuously screws you over.

So why do we as women continue to gravitate towards men who we know are going to hurt us? This is especially confusing to all those nice guys out there (and they do exist, we just seem to overlook them). They watch us get taken advantage of time and time again. They sit there and listen to us bitch and moan about the shitty guys in our lives. Yet, they never get a chance. Ok, I get it nice guys. You do get the short end of the stick.

Yet, as I type this, I know that will probably pass over a potentially nice guy for a bad boy. Part of me understands this and part of me does not. I think bad boys have this aura of mystery that nice guys don't have. Women sense that. It attracts us. Though at the end of the day, we really don't want to be with an asshole...we want to be with you nice guy!

After all that typing, I still don't have a solid conclusion on this ongoing dating dilemma. Maybe someone needs to invent a bad boy antidote. Maybe the spell breaks with age. Maybe I need a good smack to the senses. While I ponder, listen to Carrie Underwood. She gets it.