A New Direction?

There is a saying..."When the going gets tough, the tough get going." Where do they go? If I could finish that sentence it would be "far away." Lately, that seems to be my fix for life's problems.

When things don't work out the way I planned, I fantasize about disappearing. Yes, essentially "running away from my problems." I know, that isn't healthy, but I don't have anything stopping me. I could just go.

I don't have any kids or a house or a man. I could get up tomorrow and move across the country. Sure, my family and friends are here, but they'll love me no matter what my address. Every time I try to put down roots, try to get settled, something comes along and ruins my plans.

Each set back makes me yearn for my suitcase and an unlimited bank account to buy a plane, train, boat ticket to God-knows-where. I feel like everyone else has taken a chance on life. I feel like I'm standing still. My life needs a jolt. I crave a scene change.

Perhaps this sapling needs a transplant...

A Goldfish Obituary

I regret to inform everyone, that my beloved fair goldfish, Garfield, passed away from natural causes this morning. Garfield was a good fish. He enjoyed swimming in circles, flapping his fishy fins, and watching the world go by from the confines of his fishbowl. Garfield had such a promising life ahead of him after Allison spent $12 to win him and free him from his plastic bag prison. Garfield is survived by his owner, Allison, and countless fellow goldfish brothers and sisters. In lieu of flowers, a donation can be made to the Garfield Goldfish Scholarship Fund. Services will be held in the downstairs bathroom at Allison's residence with Father Chris presiding.
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I have cried my tears and mourned over Garfield, but to be honest, it wasn't really a shock that he passed so quickly. Our family has never had much luck with goldfish. I think there is an invisible force field in our house. Once a fish passes over the thresh hold, his chances of life are slim to none. Now, I will admit, there were some times that the fish's death was out of his control.

Case and point, when I was a little kid and my parents found me sitting on the kitchen table petting our latest goldfish. Apparently, taking a fish out of water to pet it is not a good idea. However, my four year old brain thought it was brilliant. Blame my parents for that one. We didn't have any furry mammal pets, so I had to improvise. Also, I distinctly remember Megan and I skipping through the fairgrounds clutching our new pet fish and swinging the plastic bags in circles. I don't think you're supposed to do that...and then we wondered why "Goldie" was dead the next morning.

The fall seasons of my childhood were filled with opportunities to win goldfish. The Denver and Ephrata fairs provided many instances for my parents to drop cash for a scrawny, malnourished fish (and we wondered why they died? the fish is living - without food - in a plastic bag for 3 days).

Naturally, we named each fish and watched them swim in circles for hours the evening we brought them home. The next morning we would awake and clamor down the stairs to say good morning. The sight was always the same. Fish, belly up, floating at the top of the tank. Meg and I were devastated, and my Mother would sneak out of work during lunch to try and win us replacements.

The good news is that the Ephrata fair runs this week and will provide another opportunity to replace poor Garfield. RIP buddy, I hardly knew you.

Power Tools

I need a hobby.

I aspire to be crafty. Specifically, I have been in the mood to redecorate lately - my office, my room, or whatever space is available. One of my projects is to hang a variety of different sized frames on one wall in my room. Frames in various colors and textures.

In order to hang said frame, I would need a level. Mostly because I am insanely anal and like things to be straight and perfectly spaced out. However, I have issues. I can't even draw a straight line with a ruler (thank God that architecture thing didn't work out -my clients would have uneven floors and ceilings).

Therefore, to get the job done, I need this...

Yes, ladies and gentleman....a laser level!

This puppy suctions to the wall and gives you a perfect line every time. Plus, it does things like locate metal studs in a wall and live wires. Handy, because getting electrocuted could really put a damper on your home improvement project.

I could be a picture hanging bad ass with this thing! My mind is spinning with all the possibilities!

Interestingly enough, this is not the first "power tool" I have wanted to purchase. Tech Ed in 7th and 8th grade gave me a hankering for a nail gun. I literally asked for one for 2 Christmases.

This is the conversation that generally followed...

Dad: Allison, what the hell are you gonna do with a nail gun?

Me: Uh, build stuff...duh.

Logical, I thought. Obviously I was going to be the next Amy Wynn Pastor from Trading Spaces with my nail gun. And ok, maybe in the past I had some DIY disasters. For instance, I found a 1930s metal bed frame in an antique store and had plans to spray paint it to match my room. Dad set me up with all the necessary equipment. Not 5 minutes into the project, I almost spray painted my eye. Needless to say, Dad finished the painting.

I believe everyone deserves a DIY pardon.

Therefore, Santa, if you're reading this, please put a Black and Decker laser level on my Christmas list. I have been a very good girl this year. Please and thank you!

Love,

Allison

Sleeping Beauty

Currently, I am working hard to generate business and revenue in my big girl job. I need money to, you know, live, but also for things like student loan payments, overpriced specialty coffee drinks, and my latest obsession...Pottery Barn.

Now, I don't have a space of my own (yet) and I probably would (not) be able to afford Pottery Barn, but a girl has to dream! I perused the site this afternoon and shrieked out loud because I discovered that Pottery Barn carries my dream bedding! (Insert cricket chirps here because who freaking has "dream" bedding? Well...I do).

Ask anyone, I am the Queen of naps. If I have spare time (hell, even if I don't) I can most likely be found curled up in a pile of pillows and blankets snoring soundly. In fact, I could tell you the components of my "dream" bed right now.

- An upholstered headboard or iron framed canopy bed

- 1500 count Egyptian cotton sheets
- Queen size Vera Wang by Serta mattress

Andddddddddddd drum roll please...

MONOGRAMMED SHEETS!!!!

Who else is super excited?!?!

What can I say? I'm a sucker for a good monogram. If I had my way, I'd have my initials embroidered on the edge of the pillowcases in navy blue. Sadly, I have given a lot of thought to this.

Until then, I will continue slumbering on my bleach-stained JCPenney pillowcases.

Here's to sweet, stylish dreams my dears.